As we move into the weeks of school summer holidays I’m feeling a palpable desire to slow.things.down.
And while my body’s yearning for a leisurely pace I’m very aware that slow and steady isn’t always the description I’d use for the coming weeks.
This time of the year can feel like a delicate balance between my own needs and those of the people close to me. There are plans ahead, places to visit, summer parties and arrangements to make with friends and family.
Whereas I’m committed to being intentional and allowing space for my needs, it goes without saying that at some point there’ll be tension, irritation and some snippy conversations.
Instead of trying to plan for ‘perfection’ (I mean let’s not go into how much I don’t like that word) and imagining I can somehow engineer a summer of only calm and tranquillity, I’ve come to realise I feel much more equipped and supported when I remind myself of what I can lean on when the sh*t does hit the fan.
That’s why I thought I’d share one of the easiest-to-remember and most helpful acronyms for this season: O.M.G
When the overwhelm hits
We’ve all been there, it’s hot, and there’s been a slew of late nights and early mornings because summer holidays are VERY EXCITING. Everyone’s running on a heady mix of too much sugar (hello ice cream) and not enough water.
No matter how much we love spending time with our families & friends it’s easy in the intensity of it all to feel ourselves hurtling towards being activated, sensorily overloaded and overwhelmed - like we want to either run away or scream.
Of course, this is completely normal. When our body is tapped out with ‘too much’ for our current capacity our clever nervous systems will try to remedy that ‘too muchness’ by activating a survival response.
Our inner threat detection system tells us to mobilise; run away (flight), get angry (fight) or immobilise by withdrawing (shutdown, freeze, dissociation).
Just to be really clear, there’s nothing wrong with you if you find yourself in a survival response. In stressful moments your body is offering you the solution it thinks you need to ‘survive’.
Your system is pumping out adrenalin and cortisol to deal with what’s at hand.
The most important thing to remember here is that the way we meet ourselves in these stressful moments can begin to change how we respond to stress over time.
The more opportunities we can give ourselves to meet our survival responses with kindness, compassion and curiosity, the less reactive we’ll be in the future.
This is how we can grow our capacity rather than feeling constantly squeezed.
Healing happens when we can accept and be alongside what we’re feeling and trust that we are safe in the intense moments as well as the calm and steady ones.
So, consider this your invitation to experiment with finding kindness, compassion and curiosity in the stressful times that (I’m afraid) will almost definitely crop up over the summer months.
This is your permission slip to whisper or shout *OMG!
*adapted from Steve Haines
Come home to yourself with OMG
O is for Orient (what’s actually happening)
Orientation is the act of coming into the present moment through sensory input from the outside world - we can use any of our senses to orient; sight, sound, smell, touch, taste. We can also orient to how the body feels in the moment:
Start to slow things down by bringing awareness to what’s happening in the moment, for example: ‘I notice there’s a lot of energy in my body’ or ‘I notice there’s an urge to do things quickly’ or ‘I notice it seems hard for me to be here, I feel like I want to drift away’
Try to observe how you feel without changing anything, this is about exploring if there’s a way to allow and accept where you are. How would it be to approach how you feel with genuine interest?
If you need extra support you can: Orient to a safe & trusted person. You can ‘borrow’ a safe and steady person’s nervous system to help you find more safety for yourself. (you can do all the suggestions above in relationship with your trusted person)
Orient to the environment: Is there something pleasant or neutral you can bring your attention to? Can you hear the rain or wind? How many lights can you see above you? Do you like the pictures on the wall? Do you like the earrings/ jumper of the person you are with?
M is for Move (let the adrenalin and cortisol do their thing)
When you’ve created a space for awareness of what’s happening through orientation and hopefully de-escalated the overwhelm a little through the steps above there’s potentially a charge of energy that might need integrating
You might ask; What movement does my body need to feel safer? The invitation here is to stay as open, curious and compassionate as possible with whatever action (or non-action) you choose.
If you’re feeling immobilised or stuck (shutdown, freeze, dissociation) the ‘movement’ might be humming or gently swaying side-to-side. It could be as simple as wiggling your toes or tensing and relaxing the muscles of your arms and legs.
If you’re feeling more mobilising energy in the body (fight/flight) maybe try stronger movements to connect to a sense of power in the limbs. Push your feet into the floor, push your hands together or against a wall. Throw a ball, squeeze a cushion or shake and shimmy your body.
It doesn’t have to be complicated but moving is an important step - it could be as simple as taking a walk and changing your environment or putting on your favourite music and allowing it to move you.
G is for Ground (realising you’re safe & ok)
Grounding is about helping your body & brain notice the return to feeling ‘ok’, ‘safe’ or ‘neutral’. You can also think of this as a place of integration once the wave of ‘too much’ has passed.
How do you know you’re feeling more grounded and present or what helps you to get there?
Can you feel your feet and lower body? Can you feel your belly? Can you feel the back of your body?
If you need help to feel more grounded consider what you might include in a sensory toolkit. What scent makes you feel good, do you want to put on your favourite jumper or pair of socks, do you need silence or stimulus?
Feel grounded and present through self touch: Hand on belly, hand on heart, rubbing hands or giving yourself a hug. Of course, if your trusted person is around you can ask for a hug or a specific type of touch that feels soothing and grounding to you.
There are so many possibilities that can fit into the invitation to orient, move and ground. I’m curious if after reading you have any ideas for your own recipe for Orienting, Moving and Grounding. You might want to consider the prompts below:
What helps you to arrive in the present moment and orient when you’re feeling overwhelmed?
What movement feels most nourishing if you’re feeling mobilised or immobilised?
What helps you to feel more grounded again, and how does groundedness show up in your body?
What do you already do or could you do that might fit? If it feels good you might want to take a pen and paper and write your very own OMG resource list.
I hope that as the rest of the summer unfolds you can find more and more ways to meet yourself where you are and know that there are so many possibilites out there to tap into resource and resilience. I know I’ll be leaning on my own list again and again, sometimes catching the overwhelm, sometimes not, perfectly imperfect as we all are.
With love,
Sara x
PS - if you’d like to pop yourself on the waitlist for coaching with me in late Summer or transitioning into Autumn you can do that by clicking the link below or if you want to have a chat over a cuppa you can click HERE
P.P.S - If you enjoyed this post you might want to read the post below about getting more comfortable with our survival responses - there’s also a recorded practice to try
Thanks for sharing such an interesting story, Love this 🥰🥰🥰
This was such an insightful read ❤ Today was one of those days where I couldn't immediately shake my worries for the future and the feelings that I haven't done enough for myself, my work, everything. To shift this, I interrupted my routine, baked something tasty to go with my morning coffee and only listened to songs/mantras that would help me to break my thought patterns. Dancing always helps to ground as well. I know thing shifted when I can observe my thoughts without feeling as if my mind is on a hamster wheel and I can objectively shift through them whilst coming up with either an affirmation or a new story. 😊