Hello to anyone who’s new … I’m Sara, a Somatic coach, movement practitioner & recovering overthinker and this is my little corner of Substack where we explore the wonder and mystery of being human and how we stay connected to ourselves (and each other) through the seas of life. I’d love it if you felt called to subscribe either for free or by upgrading to paid. Currently, I’m offering 25% off my monthly and annual substack subscription - you can find all the details via the link below.
I’ve been finding it harder to rest recently.
The pull of day-to-day life along with a heightened concern (read terror) about what this world will become and the underlying hum of anxiety that this brings up has meant I don’t often feel like I can fully switch off.
There’s something that seems unsafe about not being vigilant. And really this is the root of it. A lack of safety.
There are lots of reasons we can feel this way about rest and doing less, a big one being that push and force are wired into us from birth by the systems we live inside of.
It can also be heightened by current events (hello genocidal maniacs running the world)
We remain hyper-vigilant, waiting, ready to move quickly. Keeping going feels safer because we feel more in control. Doing less or stopping feels dangerous.
Can you be doing a little less right now?
If I were to ask you the question ‘Can you be doing a little less right now?’ I imagine you might have a few different responses.
Maybe as I offer the enquiry there's a sense of experiencing it in your body somewhere? A part of you that wants to ‘do less’. A softening of the shoulders or the belly, a deeper breath or a feeling of expansion. Or maybe there's opposition to the question - a contraction, a belly flip, a rebutting: ‘How the hell am I supposed to ‘do less’?!’
There could be a combination of both, and I would suggest that most of us might want to get curious about our relationship to doing less.
For many of us, rest and non-doing is in direct opposition to everything we've been told.
We've consistently been fed the narrative that hard work and doing MORE is what makes us worthy:
“If you want to get somewhere in life you've got to try extra hard”
“Quitting is for losers”
“I'll rest when I'm dead”
“Sitting on your ass never got you anywhere”
”Nothing will work unless you do.”
I'm sure you have your versions of this narrative, learned from parents, teachers and bosses (mostly well-meaning).
The way we live encourages us that more is better, constant motion is the goal. And sadly even our self-care, healing and the things we do to rest, are rife with 'doing’.
It’s not surprising that the idea of doing less feels risky. We’ve been coached to be always ‘on’, our nervous systems are consistently trained towards hypervigilance & overwhelm. Doing more becomes our baseline; the new normal.
So of course, doing less or switching ‘off’ can feel deeply unfamiliar and incredibly uncomfortable.
But we know that never stopping isn’t sustainable. Relaxation is the other side of contraction. Just like our heart beats and our diaphragm rises and falls - It’s part of a necessary biological rhythm.
And when we ignore our need for this rhythm for long enough there are dramatic repercussions.
So how do we find comfort with doing less, especially when it feels deeply unsafe?
Just like we can unintentionally train our nervous systems towards overwhelm and hypervigilance we can also encourage our system to respond more favourably to doing less and enjoying (and integrating) our rest states.
In getting curious about nurturing a sense of safety in less activated/slower states we allow ourselves to climb down off the ladder of overwhelm and back into healthy capacity.
First things first, we must start small, if you’re finding it hard to rest you can almost guarantee your body system is overwhelmed.
And an overwhelmed system is at capacity. Adding lots more things to ‘do’ is only going to add to the overwhelm.
Our motto is EASY DOES IT
Some gentle ‘non doing’ suggestions to get comfortable with doing less :
You might want to start by exploring your relationship to the somatic (body based) imprint of slowing down.
Where can you find appreciation for the ‘non-doing’ side of life?
Can you bring attention to how your muscles relax and release their springiness?
Is there a possibility to feel the pleasure of heaviness in your body?
A welcoming of the soft focus of your eyes.
Finding pleasure in doing less, slowing down and resting is the necessary antidote to pushing and forcing.
You might want to try this invitation next time you’re feeling tired:
What’s the most pleasurable sensation related to fatigue or drowsiness? See if you can enjoy that sensation with your eyes closed (for about a minute), then with your eyes open (for about a minute). Close the practice by standing stretching and orienting to your space.
Repeat the exercise in exactly the same way. After you’ve oriented to your space consider: What feeling does this give you? What’s the feedback from your experiment? (there are no ‘right’ answers)
Some other things to try:
Start to pay disproportionate attention to the ‘off’ rather than the ‘on’. Can you begin to notice the micro-moments in your day when you're not ‘doing’. As with many things we begin by opening awareness. (awareness = potential for change)
Expand time with simple pleasures - a cup of tea, walk in the garden, hug with your favourite person or animal - can you savour these precious minutes and notice their effect on your body? Is there a relaxation into non-doing, a yielding into rest?
I've said it before and I'll say it again orientation, orientation, orientation. When we take out attention out into our environment we are reminded that in the here and now moment we are safe enough. And if we feel safe we can safely rest.
You can explore a simple orientation practice here…
And finally…
Get curious about your relationship with doing less by considering these journal prompts….
What narrative comes up or what have I been told about doing less?
Does what I've been told align with my values?
How can I create the conditions during my day to do a little less?
Of course none of these practices or suggestions are here to offer an overnight fix and we can’t force our way ‘do’ our desire to ‘do less’ :)
The repatterning of our well-worn neural pathways takes gentle and diligent practice but slowly and gently we can move towards a more supportive way of being.
Through these simple ‘micro’ practices we can begin to shift the needle from overwhelmed and ‘on’ to comfortable with doing rest and doing less.
And you can reconnect to our inherent natural rhythm catalyse the innate healing intelligence that arises from your very nature.
Does resting or doing less feel safe or unsafe right now? … I’m always here in the comments for your support if you’d like to share
With love
Sara x