How to dismantle an empire
1. Dismantle the empire within yourself 2. hold space for others to do the same - Musings on stuckness and reigniting hope.
“It can be overwhelming to witness/experience/take in all the injustices of the moment; the good news is that they’re all connected. So if your little corner of work involves pulling at one of the threads, you’re helping to unravel the whole damn cloth” (@/jwillia2 on X)
Things have been feeling sticky in my corner of the world and by that I mean I’ve been feeling inert, frozen. My to-do lists have remained undone and my reflex has been ‘what’s the point’ whenever I’ve thought about my work. It hasn’t been a comfortable place to be.
I’ve been managing the day-to-day tasks and not much more. Living in times of genocide can do that to a person. We revert to our protective mechanisms, the things that help our bodies feel safe or at least less overwhelmed. In my case, this has meant doing the minimum and a much smaller window of capacity.
I wanted to share this here because I’m quite sure I’m not the only one who has felt this way - It’s easy to lean into ‘what’s the point’ and feel despondent when the world’s burning before our eyes and the systems we’re part of are perpetuating mass harm on an entire people.
I find myself questioning ‘am I making a difference?’, ‘how am I contributing?’ and ‘IS what I’m contributing helpful in some way or just feeding the very thing that I want to divest from?’ THIS is what makes me frozen and stuck. I don’t want to add harm, I want to be part of the solution.
I want to be part of co-creating a new world not unconsciously continuing to uphold the ideologies that have led us to watch a genocide unfold live on our screens.
On reflection, I see how my fear of ‘getting it wrong’ has been holding me back. How my well-worn protection patterns of stuckness and despondency keep me from what I long for the most - a change in the madness of this world. My inaction IS the very thing the structures of control want. We’re easier to silence if we feel helpless.
I’m not saying this to suggest we need to override our protection patterns and force ourselves onward - they are helpful and in service to us mostly. But if we notice a habitual way of being is holding us back it can be useful to befriend it and get curious. Consider if the patterns you find yourself in are helping or hindering in relation to your values, wants, desires and softly, gently explore trying on a different shape. Only then can we embody new ways of being that are aligned with what feels most important to us.
To lift me out of my stuckness and find a new shape I needed the reminder that I was capable of making a difference even when it felt like my actions were amounting to nothing. I needed to reconnect to hope. And that reminder came from others who are walking/have walked the same path (some of whose words I’ve shared in this piece)
I needed to trust that through perhaps small but diligent actions I am, we are, ‘unravelling the whole damn cloth’
When we reclaim the power of our belief and trust and project it onto ourselves and each other instead of systems of death, we remember we are capable of imagining and building what comes next. What doesn’t exist yet but must” - Ayana Zaire Cotton
Through our work, activism and protest, how we talk to our children & loved ones about our beliefs, allowing ourselves to bear witness to the immense suffering of the world, and refusing to close up our hearts we are pulling at the threads of injustice.
Being reminded of this has reignited my spark of hope, it allows my protection pattern to ease enough that the stuckness feels lighter and I can move again. I can take up a different shape.
I’m curious about what you might need to feel reconnected to hope or find a new shape?
I don’t have the answers, I don’t think any single human does, but let this be an invitation to recognise what you are already doing and take a moment to consider if the shape you're taking up in the world aligns with what you believe most in.
Let your love & care fan the flames of your hope so that together we can recommit to exploring how a humanity built on collective care, not violence can look. So we can keep ‘unravelling the cloth’ of this dystopian capitalist regime while simultaneously being part of weaving and co-creating something new.
“Instead of thinking, “I can’t make a change,” ask yourself, what if? What if you showing up creates a ripple that becomes unstoppable? What if you are part of a missing piece that would help form a massive wave? What if?” -
PS - I’m writing a little more on how the practice of somatics creates space for liberation and change on Sunday alongside some practical things to explore in the direction of taking up a different shape, I hope to see you there <3
This is a tricky one to navigate. I’ve been feeling some level of guilt for continuing to live and work as “normal” but, as long as I’m taking action outside of the day-to-day I believe I’m doing what I can. My business and my family need me to be well and caring for myself means these aspects of my life will be taken care of too. In holding (and being held by) my business and family, my hope is that I can maintain the capacity and energy to make a difference. For me, that’s less about being vocal and more about taking action, because I do better (mentally) with the latter. Petitioning, donating, contacting my MP (even though he’s useless), chatting with my daughter. She asked why I’m not voting for our local MP and it was an opportunity for me to open up about my feelings and what matters. It was a powerful conversation even though it was all very age appropriate. And I feel like guiding our children is one of the most important things we can do. There’s so much that’s outwith our control so I guess we have to focus on what’s within it? Sorry, I’m going on now…💛
I’ve been feeling all this too Sara 💙